It’s a Friday night and you’re out at your local dance club, otherwise known as the place where you go to find hos to stick your dick in. (Don’t worry, we don’t think you actually go there because you want to dance around like a ballerina, buddy.) The night is looking pretty shitty because the chicks look like hyenas, so you saunter over to the bar to drown your sorrows in a few cold ones before heading back to your pad all alone to whack off. You’re spilling a few tears in your beer when you look over and see them. By them, we mean two gigantic, chocolate tits. You look up and there she is, Carmen Hayes, in all her boobarific glory. Her red dress is barely covering her hooters and you know that it’s now or never, so you go over and introduce yourself. She rolls her eyes at you but you are not deterred because you know a chick like this is going be to a challenge. So you engage her in a gentleman’s wager and she takes the bait. If she can get you off with just her tits, you’ll give her a diamond necklace. If she can’t, then you get to nail her tight mocha pussy. You go back to the crib and she slams your cock with her bangin’ boobies until you spurt. You accept your defeat and when she tries to claim her diamond necklace prize, you tell her the truth: That creamy pearl necklace she is wearing is going to have to suffice. Then you smile and tell her that she should love her new jewelry because you made it yourself and those are the gifts that count the most.