Like a 1920s silent film heroine, Linsey has been kidnapped, damsel-in-distress style, and whisked away by some scummy, horny villain for this admittedly bizarre pictorial. But he hasn’t tied Linsey down to railroad tracks — likely fearing those enormous boobs of hers would derail the train. Instead, he’s cuffed the buxom Brit in a seedy old theatre, where he is playing filthy movies to arouse LDM, not unlike the scene in A Clockwork Orange. Linsey, though, is a HHH-Houdini who easily slips her leather restraints. Instead of fleeing for the door, she decides to put on a modeling demonstration. Mmmm. Too bad for the general television audience in the U.K. that Linsey can’t get this rude on the upcoming ScreamFilms show “I’m Famous and Frightened.” We don’t think the Brits would scream about tits the way the Yanks did about a small Janet Jackson boob during the Super Bowl. In a weird way, this pictorial is a warm-up to the spooky stuff ahead except she won’t be starkers.The show airs Friday March 12, 13, and 14 on Living TV (http://www.livingtv.co.uk). Monies earned from the show will go to Linsey’s favorite charity, “breast cancer” Linsey will star with other celebs who will need to get the most number of votes to win the competition. We hope that LDM wears something really hot, like a baby tee-shirt, booty shorts and FM shoes when she starts her ghostbustin’ in crumbling old Chillingham castle in Northumberland. The countdown starts now. Good luck, LDM.